Hey, Mr. DJ

Today I had my students writing poetry.  In part of the poem they had to mention or incorporate a favorite song of theirs.  I should have known this was a bad idea.

Stripper love

In my second class of the day, one of my students loudly yelled, “I’m in love with a stripper!”  I promptly sent him outside for a talk.

I asked with some confusion, “Why exactly did you just yell out, ‘I’m in love with a stripper!’?”

He replied, “That’s my song.  I like that song.”

“Do you think that’s appropriate to yell out in class?”

“No.”

“Oh.  Then why did you yell that out?  Was it to get attention or because you thought it would be funny to your classmates?”

“No.  I just like that song.  I was listening to it this morning.”

“So you’re not trying to get attention.  I see.”

Right…

Do You Know What That Means?

In a later class, one of my students was very proud to show me his poem, newly printed on his notebook paper.  I start reading through the lines.

“What is this word?  Can you say it out loud for me?”

“[Gonorrhea].”

“Do you know what gonorrhea means?”

“I don’t know.  It’s a Lil’ Wayne song.”

Perfect teaching opportunity right here.  I proceeded to loudly explain so the whole class could hear, “Well, gonorrhea is an STD, a sexually transmitted disease.  It causes terrible burning sensations in the special parts of your body, where you don’t want that to happen.  Gonorrhea is really bad.”

“Oh.”

He sits down and erases his music choice.

Worst Band on the Earth

After school I had a couple of girls in detention for talking while they were supposed to be writing.  During their detention, they asked if I could put some music on.  I grinned and asked what they want to listen to.  They both said that they love metal.  I asked which metal bands they liked.  They gave me the names of some random metal bands, when I had to ask them, “Do you both like Nickelback?”

“Yes, I love them!” they shouted together.

“Well, too bad.  They are the worst band on the planet.  There are toddlers learning to play the pan flute somewhere in Malaysia that are better than Nickelback.  But let me see what I do have.”

I smiled and proceeded to put on an Afro-beat station and play it as loudly as possible for the duration of their detention.

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6 thoughts on “Hey, Mr. DJ

  1. actual convo i had with one of my students today

    “I had to go to the bathroom because –”
    me: no no, it’s ok
    “because I farted–
    me: no, no, really, go sit down
    “and stuff came out”
    me: do you need to go to the nurse?
    “no i cleaned it”

    [1 hour later]
    “i had to go to the bathroom because–”
    me: no, i trust you did what you needed to do
    “because my butt is raw”
    me: do you need to go to the nurse?
    “no, i just put some wet toilet paper up there and i’m better now”

    NO FILTER.

  2. I always did like the way you think!! haha its always better to make the lesson/punishment more interesting than just your normal run of the mill crap. That’s what always made me think you were one of the better teachers on our campus! keep it up, the kids really need more teachers like you! :)

  3. Lol, Phillip! A week in and this blog is epic. I know several people who would have a serious appreciation for the content. Hell, I’m not even a teacher, and I seriously love your writing style and sense of humor. Keep it coming! I can always use a laugh.

  4. SnowP — I shared your nickelback story with my hubs and we both laughed out loud. We hate, er, loathe nickelback and despise anyone who had part in any of their albums. It’s good to know that you are teaching English and other important things to kids. : )

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